We moved from CO to SC almost exactly one year ago. Months were lost to my incessant pining away for the mountains, the sky, and anything that was not the humid misery of SC. How much we suffer when we focus on ourselves. Yet when we are weak He is strong, and I have since gained new strength in Christ. I am so glad that He has patience with whiners.
Sometimes the name of His renewal is the beach... one place in SC that I really do love.
Another major turn of events in our lives has been the Lord changing our hearts about limiting our children. We had a vasectomy reversal in December, but had become quite discouraged when we had not become pregnant after many months, and learned that the surgery was not quite as successful as we had hoped. How could this be, when we felt the Lord strongly telling us that there was room for more? God works in mysterious ways...We are now in the process of adopting, and my heart is full! We give Him all the glory for what has been a sacrifice of praise, a humbling journey, and a testimony to His faithfulness. Everything has come about in miraculous ways. We had only just begun to look into the adoption process, but the Lord knew it was time, and has been gently leading us by the hand.
I had mourned for time lost. I had mourned for not trusting the Lord with our fertility from the beginning, and fearing we had now lost it for good. I mourned for the children I would never know because of that lack of trust. I mourned for the time I was losing mourning the loss of these things.
I think about the grief of looking at all those negative pregnancy tests since the reversal... never knowing that, somewhere, my all-knowing Father was knitting my baby together in a very secret place... someone else's womb. It will be worth all of that disappointment and more when I see that child's face.
We will keep you updated. Thanks for listening. It's great to be back :o)
4 comments:
You are a blessing to me. Loved reading this update, though I knew most of it from FB. Its sweetly written. I could spend hours checking out the wonderful links you have on your page. (love AiG) I may have to start a blog myself; what a nice way to share from your heart and also share information that points others to the one who writes on your heart.
While we have not had to deal with the reversal and the false tests...we have put our family on hold as well. God had to sneak one in on us with all our planning and knock me over the head! Trusting him fully, even with our wombs, is a big deal. I wish many more would wake-up. I now look back over the time spent not trusting and I know how you feel. I love you, friend, and yes, he is making a way for you to your next child!
I'm sooo glad you're back to blogging, even though I've been following along on fb. :) I can't wait to see what new things you have coming...crafts, etc.. :)
Praying for you and yours with the adoption; God's time is the best, even when we want it when we want it. (Talking to myself too. I'm quite the impatient person, but God is really changing that. I'm living with my family and have been for the past 6 months! Talk about some patience! ;) All in His timing.)
Blessings to you and yours!
Sonja
Thank you all for your support and friendship. You are wonderful women!
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